THE GEEK HUB Part 1

Pillow Laptop: Working Never Felt so Zzzz...



This is a pillow that looks like a laptop. It's nonfunctional (as a computer, fully functional as a sleep aid), but soft. I don't even know if they're for sale, but let's be honest, you wouldn't buy one if they were. Oh you would? *yelling down to the basement* Say, it doesn't have to be sweatshop free, does it? Anyway, I think we can all agree this laptop brings new meaning to the phrase, "passing out on your laptop and puking into the keys and then it catching fire and torching your eyebrows off", doesn't it? Well I think it does.

Pillow Blanket: I need One Like, Last Night



The Pillow Blanket is a blanket made out of interconnecting pillows that looks comfy as all hell. I want one. And not just for the pillow fights you and I could have! No, I would throw myself down on that mother after a long night of drinking and puke to my stomach's content. But not choke on it

Where Do I Buy? Pillows For Working Late



'Pillows for working late' is a three-piece ensemble created by Polish designer Maja Ganszyniec. It comes with a collar, tie and sleeve that are soft and the perfect place to lay your head should you find yourself dozing off at your desk. I don't think you have to be working late to use them. I mean, I just got to work and I can barely keep my eyessssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss open.

Awwww: Bizkit The Sleep Walking Dog



This is a video of Bizkit the sleepwalking dog. You should watch it, it's funny and sad at the same time. SPOILER ALERT: The dog sleepwalks into the wall. I originally thought it was cruel, but then watched the rest of the user's videos and they film the dog all the time, so I don't think they knew it would run into the wall. That said, I'm stealing Bizkit and starting a circus.

Sceintist Invented: Longer-Term Sleeping Pill



I don't get it, I put one in my nightcap before bed and I barely slept a wink. Then, just a few minutes ago, I blew a hole in the urinal during a routine bathroom break.

Its Elemental: A Periodic Table Duvet



This is a duvet cover that a loving woman made for her chemistry major boyfriend. I think this is the first time I've ever typed duvet. Secretly, I liked it.

You may or may not have seen a post I did back in the fall when I was in the planning stages of making a quilt for my boyfriend for Christmas, featuring the "periodic table of the elements", because he is a Chemistry major, and I thought he'd find it totally epic.

Unfortunately, It became a duvet cover instead of a quilt because of a) time constraints and the fact that I still had gifts for 7 or 8 other people that I was making and b) buying the batting for the inside would have put me $50 over budget instead of just $10 over.

Mmmmm, Delicious Sleep, The Hamburger Bed



The Hamburger bed (which is actually a cheeseburger) is a round bed that looks like a hamburger and has a Facebook fan page. I was going to become a fan, but decided I'd probably end up stalking that delicious bitch and that would bad. So, instead, I'm going to make my own taco bed.

UPDATE: So I had this weird dream about being a giant last night and, f***, I think I ate my pillows.

NEW Mercedes Feature Alerts Sleepy Drivers



Mercedes, in their unending quest to save the lives of the rich, is installing a new feature in its E class automobiles (sorry, you C class peasants are still f***ed).

Mercedes studied the brain waves of sleepy drivers, and matched those up with lackadaisical steering tendencies, resulting in a car that can sense if you're spacing out.

Attention Assist uses precision sensors on the steering column to watch your attention level, and if you start to fall asleep, it sounds an obnoxious alarm, accompanied by an icon in the middle of the speedometer suggesting that you pause for a cup of coffee.

No word on whether it can distinguish if you're just masturbating.

Mercedes cars now smart enough to wake up drowsy drivers

Blast Out Of Bed With Alarm Clock



The Rocket Launcher Alarm Clock is phallic as hell and I want one really badly. When it's time to wake up the rocket ship blasts off -- and you have to retrieve said rocket and replace it on the base for the beeping to stop. Alternatively, you can break the base. And while this certainly isn't the worst way to wake up, it is a close second behind the SWAT team busting into your bedroom. Those guys act like they've never seen a little morning wood before. Somebody fetch the proverbial buck saw -- this timber looks like a two-man job.

Sleep Standing With The Vertical Bed



Artist Jamie O'Shea's Vertical Bed combines two of my favorite things: sleeping. Standing can go f*** itself, because I hate it. I like lying down.

The Vertical Bed won't save you from poking and prodding, but with sunglasses on, noise-canceling headphones, a neck-pillow for comfort, and an umbrella to keep you dry, that's a pretty good start. The Vertical Bed will keep you upright thanks to hooks attached to the shoes that will lock into subway grates, and braces and concealed harnesses that keep your legs and back supported. It all conveniently folds down into a briefcase.

Wake Up To Meat: The Wake And Bacon



The Wake n' Bacon is a collaborative alarm clock design by Matty Sallin, Daniel Bartolini and Hsiao-huh Hsu. It wakes you up with the delicious scent of bacon instead of beeping. How?

A frozen strip of bacon is placed in Wake n' Bacon the night before. Because there is a 10 minute cooking time, the clock is set to go off 10 minutes before the desired waking time. Once the alarm goes off, the clock it sends a signal to a small speaker to generate the alarm sound. We hacked the clock so that the signal is re-routed by a microchip that in responds by sending a signal to a relay that throws the switch to power two halogen lamps that slow-cook the bacon in about 10 minutes.
Simple as that. No loud noises, no breaking your alarm, just delicious bacon. Now what you need to do is keep a mini-fridge by the bed so you can toss in another piece, hit snooze, and ten minutes later, more bacon. Toss in another piece, hit snooze, and ten minutes later, more bacon. Toss in another piece, hit snooze, and ten minutes later, more bacon. Toss in another piece, hit snooze, and ten minutes later you can't see your penis past your pork-gut anymore because you've been eating two pounds of bacon every morning.

Sobrietol Reduces Level Of Blood Alcohol, FUN



Sobrietol is some mystery formula of cancer-causing agents that reduces your blood alcohol content after a heavy night of drinking. And let me tell you -- as someone who thought yesterday was Friday and went out and got shit-hammered -- I lost my shoes.

Have you ever had one too many drinks at a party, wine-tasting, or night out with the girls? Unfortunately, for all too many of us, we know what that means for the next morning -- we wake up a little lethargic. Maybe a tummy that's queasy, maybe a throbbing head, maybe a dude you thought was a chick in bed next to you.

Sobrietol was found to decrease the level of blood alcohol by 56% in independent tests as measured by Oregon State Troopers. The next day will be like you didn't drink at all!

First of all, there's no such thing as "one too many drinks", there are only too few. And secondly, a box of 8 packets costs $40 -- that's like 8 good liquor drinks! And trust me, nothing cures a hangover like drinking the next morning. So thanks but no thanks Sobrietol, the only product I need to help remove alcohol is free.

Wake Up Equipment: DANGERBOMB Clock, Goes Boom Boom Boom, All up in your Room!



The DANGERBOMB CLOCK looks like a bomb and shouldn't be taken on flights. It's the next generation in wake up equipment that requires you to do something besides slap a button to actually turn the damn thing off. How does it work? Per the translated Amazon Japan page:

Product specifications:
Do not happen in the explosion and quickly ugh? KACHI KACHI KACHI... wake-up time bomb-type device! Danger Bomb Clock!! Danger Bomb Clock!!

DOKI DOKI DOKI... "What a piece of wire to stop the explosion I can...?!" In film and television, to stop the time bomb which one should staple a line scene. Such a scene reminiscent of a time bomb alarm clock, and a parody of fun.

Set in a predetermined number of hours to the sound of heavy explosions. In other words, turn off the alarm switch in the explosion, three of the wiring was imitated one of a number. Three, how to stop it is through daily random set. This will also no longer be late? Daily life for the thrill and excitement...!

Basically the alarm goes off and one of the colored lights blinks indicating which wire you have to separate to turn it off. If you choose the wrong one it makes loud explosion noises and scares the shit out of your cats. Simple as that. Now I'm not totally sure what happens if you just disconnect all the wires the night before, but if I had to guess I'd say I'm f***in' MacGyver!

LONELY NO MORE: BED WITH A VIRTUAL 2D GIRLFRIEND



INBED is the brainchild of NYU student Drew Burrows. Drew is a really lonely guy that decided a 2-D virtual girlfriend would be way easier to bed than a real 3-D one. And he was right. The girl is projected onto your bed from the ceiling and interacts via "infrared-sensitive" light. If you curl up on your side she spoons with you, and if you lie on your back she stretches out beside you. Plus, if you're feeling amorous and try to kiss her she raises her rear into the air and beckons you to "tap that". Just kidding, no chick would ever do that -- she just buries her head in a pillow and ignores you like your girlfriend does whenever you're feeling procreational.

Another Annoying Alarm Clock To BREAK



Here at Geekologie we've had no shortage whatsoever of ridiculous alarm clocks that use various annoying methods to get you out of bed and ready for another horrible day of life. But here comes another anyways. When the $40 Puzzle Alarm Clock goes off it launches three puzzle pieces out of the base. You then have to find said pieces and return them to their respective resting places. It sounds like a freaking disaster waiting to happen. I would have that thing smashed to bits before you could say "where's the star piece?" Mostly because I never learned my shapes. That's right -- I was the kid in kindergarten that tried to wedge the square peg into the round hole and glued his head to his cot during naptime. But look at me now -- on top of the freaking world. Okay, maybe just on top of house. I'm gonna jump!

Nap At Work: The Nappak Sleeping Cube



If there's one thing I hate about going to work, it's the lack of comfortable places to sleep during my afternoon siesta. Enter the Nappak Sleeping Cube. It's an inflatable cubby where you can stretch out and doze to your heart's content. Not exactly a cube, but that's okay. While it certainly is better than napping face down on your keyboard, I have a few other suggestions for great places to sleep at work (based on several years experience).

The trunk of your car
Benefits: Cozy, dark, can add pillows and blankets.
Drawbacks: Getting locked inside. Being rear ended mid-nap.

Bathroom stall
Benefits: Easily accessible, private, can urinate as you nap.
Drawbacks: Gas, bathroom noises, legs falling asleep.

Your boss's desk, with his secretary.
Benefits: Lockable door, someone to spoon, potential to get some (or at least cop a feel).
Drawbacks: Possible sexual harassment case and/or disease. Boss kicking in the door, yelling at you. Termination.

Pole Dancer Alarm Clock, Looks Cheap. Just How i like my Alarm Clocks, Wine & Women



This Pole-Dancing Alarm Clock looks like an utter piece of crap, a lot like the USB Stripper. What do you get for your two Jacksons?
Product Features:
• Spinning Pole/Dancer
• Music
• Time
• Alarm
Awesome. So she swings around to the tune of some cheesy song. On an alarm clock base that you can't even read the time on. Where in the hell do they come up with this garbage? It's uch junk. And how about the way they're objectifying women? Downright tacky. I swear, I'm tempted to write the company making this and tell them how disgusted I am. I wouldn't pay a single red cent for such a crappy crap crapingly *girlfriend steps out of room to stuff her face with ice cream* AWESOME alarm clock that I simply MUST have. One for each room of the house. Oooh, and one for the dashboard of my car. What the hell, one for the back window too.

Eyeball Sticker: NO I WASN'T SLEEPING!



People (like me) sleep at work, it's a fact. Developing spreadsheets and writing reports is often too daunting a task after a long night of heavy drinking. You need a nap first. To help prevent getting caught sleeping (and the subsequent unemployment) are these eyeball stickers. You simply stick them on your eyelids and sleep away. Be sure to shave off your eyelashes for the full effect. I think this is brilliant. True ingenuity at its finest right here folks. While I don't have the stickers, I'm going to draw some on and see how it goes. I'll update and let you know if it worked.

HATE WAKING UP? FIRE BELL ALARM CLOCK HACK



I don't have trouble waking up in the morning because I have a cat that lets me know it’s time to rise by sticking his b-hole to my face. But if you don't have such a considerate cat then maybe you need something a little more serious. How about a fire bell alarm clock? I can guarantee it's loud enough to wake you up or give you a heart attack. While it looks pretty easy to make, I wouldn't suggest it unless you're really hard of hearing or just hate life.